Friday Special Khutbah

Peace be upon you, and the mercy and blessings of Allah

All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon the most noble of prophets and messengers, our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and companions.

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ

O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do?

كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِندَ ٱللَّهِ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ

Most hateful it is in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not do.

(Surah As-Saff 61:2-3)

Introduction

Look into the eyes of a child, and you will see not just innocence, but an observer—watching your every move, studying your reactions, and absorbing your behaviors long before they fully understand your words.

As parents and community members, we often focus on what we tell our children about Islam, but today’s khutbah reminds us of a profound truth:

Our actions speak volumes louder than our words ever could.

Story or Parable

Omar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) was once walking through the marketplace when he noticed a father instructing his young son to be truthful in all matters.

Later that same day, Omar observed this same father telling a customer that a product was worth more than its actual value. After the customer left, Omar approached the man and said,

“My brother… your morning’s advice to your son has been erased by your afternoon’s actions.”

In our own times, I recall visiting a family where the father constantly reminded his children about the importance of prayer.

Yet whenever the adhan sounded, the children would rise immediately while the father would say, “Just five more minutes” as he continued watching television.

As months passed, I noticed something remarkable—the eldest child, once diligent about prayer, began to mirror his father’s delay. When questioned, the child simply said,

“I’m doing what Dad does, not what Dad says.”

Lessons & Insights

The Living Curriculum: Children learn Islam primarily through observation, not instruction. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ didn’t just teach prayer with words—he demonstrated it, saying “Pray as you have seen me pray.” When we embody the values we preach, we create a living curriculum more powerful than any lecture.

The Mirror Effect: Psychology confirms what Islam has always taught—children mirror their caregivers. When we display patience in difficulty, they learn resilience. When we react with anger, they learn volatility. Our actions create the template for their future behaviors, making us responsible not just for what we say, but for who we are.

The Authenticity Requirement: Children possess an innate detector for hypocrisy. They quickly discern the gap between our words and actions, and this gap doesn’t just confuse them—it erodes their trust in both us and potentially the faith we’re trying to impart. Authenticity isn’t optional; it’s the foundation of effective parenting.

Practical Application

Perform a “consistency audit” this week—ask yourself, “Which of my teachings am I not personally modeling?” Begin closing these gaps one action at a time.

Create prayer experiences, not just prayer instructions. Let your children witness your love for salah through your own khushu’ (concentration) and punctuality, not just your reminders.

Narrate your moral decisions aloud sometimes: “I’m returning this extra change because honesty pleases Allah.” This connects your visible actions to the Islamic principles guiding them.

Apologize when you fall short. Showing your children that you acknowledge mistakes and seek forgiveness models accountability and growth within the faith.

Conclusion & Dua

Dear brothers and sisters, raising children who truly embody Islamic values requires more than perfect words—it requires our imperfect but sincere striving to live those values daily. They will not inherit the Islam we teach; they will inherit the Islam we demonstrate.

Let us pray: “O Allah, grant us the strength and consciousness to embody the values we wish to see in our children. Help us narrow the gap between our words and our actions. Make us role models who inspire rather than merely instruct. And forgive us for the times our actions have contradicted our teachings. Ameen.”

Call to Return

Reflect on this message throughout your week, especially during those small moments when your children are quietly watching your choices. And join us next Friday as we explore “The Forgotten Sunnah: Reviving the Prophet’s Approach to Mental Wellbeing.” Until then, visit ImanJourney.com for more inspiration to strengthen your family’s spiritual connection.